about
you think you know me.
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Thursday, October 14, 2010
Lost Lights @ 4:05 PM
I tried screaming hoping you’d notice me,
Tried grabbing your hand,
Tried standing in your way, but you never saw.
You walked through me,
Like I wasn’t there,
Like I’m invisible.
I recently was watching one of my favorite shows called Ghost Whisperer. It’s a story of a woman who can see and talk with the dead, and her sole purpose is to happily cross them over. I don’t know why but I always end up crying by the end of each story. I watch how the lost ghosts try communicating with their loved ones, how they yell and scream but they can’t be heard. Sometimes I wonder what if that was me? What if I was gone and no one noticed me; no one realized I was there all along. It would be a true tragic ending. To be so close to the ones you love to the point you can’t take it, and watch them walk through you. I pray never to encounter such a day, but I can’t help but think what will happen to me and the people I love if I were to ever die.
Would I have lived an accomplished life? Would I be missed? Did I complete everything on my bucket list? You will never know what happen and its okay to be scared, I know I am. I am deeply attached to my loved ones and if something ever happened I don’t know how I would handle myself. I would be completely lost, afraid and confused. I’m selfish in a way because I love everyone too much to just let go. I dream of that happily ever after just like everyone else, to live a full life without any regrets. To learn from my faults and become a better person, a better daughter, better sister, and friend. I don’t want to ever look back and regret my mistakes...I want to concentrate on my future and think about the great adventures god has planned for me.
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching."
Gerard Way